Dumbridge
by takesometime
Summary: This is meant to be a humor writing. Never would i ship DumbledoreUmbridge for real. I sail the CornyUmbridge ship. Anyways, this is a story set during the fifth book of Dumbledore and Umbridge's secret life together.
1. The Beginning

"The Beginning."

Albus Dumbledore walked out of the Ministry of Magic. He arrived early for Harry's disciplinary hearing. He had gotten a letter that said "Meet me in front of the MoM at 6:00 sharp. I'll be wearing green- Bridgypoogles xoxo" Spying a lump of blubber sitting on a bench under a dark green cloak he strode over to the bench. Sitting down next to it the lump suddenly moved to reveal a head.

"Hello my sweet Bridgeypoogles." He cooed.

"Albydumplings! Glad you came! I have bad news, they've changed the boy's hearing. It's now set to be at 8:00 instead. You'd best send an owl." Dolores Umbridges voice quickly told him.

Dumbledore drew out his wand and made a quill, ink, and a piece of parchment appear. He than summoned an owl to come and gave it the letter. "Go, before it's too late." He urged the owl on. The owl flew as fast as it could to deliver it's letter.

"Now that's been taken care of. We have other things to attend to. I wanted you to help me pick out a new set of robes. I think pink would really accentuate my eyes and make me look slimmer." Dolores said.

"You look great in anything Bridgeypoogles. I'll buy them for you, want to get fitted at Madame Malkins?" Albus asked her.

"Of course! Let's go." Dolores replied.

Albus and Dolores took each others hands and apparated to Madame Malkins. They went inside and picked out a bight, pink, frilly set of robes that Dolores had instantly fell in love with. They showed Madame Malkin and asked if they could get a set for Dolores.

"Well, I'm sorry but I don't have a set that size. It'd take awhile to make them that huge." She said apologetically.

"WHAT? ARE YOU SAYING THAT I CAN'T FIT INTO THIS SLIM FITTING SET OF ROBES? I AM DOLORES UMBRIDGE! SENIOR UNDERSECRETARY TO THE MINISTER! I DEMAND YOU GET ME MY ROBES AT ONCE!" she screeched.

"Yes, whatever you say Dolores." Madame Malkin grabbed the robes and started enlarging them to the size of a baby half-giant. She handed the to Dolores. "Free of charge."

Albus and Dolores apparated back to the Ministry of Magic. Dolores went to the hearing and Albus waited outside for awhile. After waiting a little for Harry, Dumbledore got agitated and headed inside to catch a glimpse of Dolores. He walked into the elevator and took it down to the the Department of Mysteries. He found the room of the hearing and walked in to see that the hearing had begun.

He strode in and argued his case for Harry. As everyone else focused their attention on the witness, Mrs.Figg, Dumbledore took out a quill and pen. He wrote a note to Dolores telling her to meet him at the Leaky Caludron after the hearing. He bewitched the note to fly and sent it secretly to Dolores. She caught it in her grubby hands and read it. She winked at Dumbledore and he left the room satisfied.


	2. The Leaky Cauldron

Chapter Two: The Leaky Cauldron

After leaving the Ministry of Magic, Albus Dumbledore had apparated to the Leaky Cauldron to wait for his lover. Before sitting in their usual booth at the back of the room, he ordered them both tea and crumpets to snack on. Albus sat down with their usual lunchtime meal and eagerly waited for her to arrive while he sipped his tea. It didn't take long for Umbridge to arrive and sit down in the seat across from him. Before either of them could say a word, Umbridge attacked the plate of crumpets in front of her with her meaty hands and devoured more than her fair share.

"It's good to see you again my sweet. How was the trial?" Albus cooed.

"Fine." She mumbled in between bites of crumpet. "He didn't get punished enough."

Albus was too busy watching her eat to pay any attention to her voice, as melodious as it was and he just nodded in agreement to whatever she said. He watched her polish off the entire plate of crumpets and signaled the waitress that he needed another plate . "Are they what you wanted?"

"Of course.. You know I love crumpets Alby." Umbridge said as she smiled at him affectionately. "Besides, how could I not love them after the…incident." She winked as she said this and Albus' cheeks turned pink.

"Yes, yes of course. The incident…" Albus trailed off. His thoughts quickly flashed to that night but, he urged himself to push them away before he got any urges. "Well, I guess we had best get our crumpets and go. We can't let anyone find out about us you know.. Cornelius wouldn't be very happy."

"Corny is a bugger… Why should I care what he thinks anyway?" Dolores huffed. "It's not like he could do that trick with the crumpets.."

At this, Albus turned an even brighter shade of red and started to shift uncomfortably. "Not here Dolores…they might think I'm some sort of…sex machine."

"Oh but you are. You're my little sex muffin Alby. Come, let's be off. We have much better things we can do."

And off they went, stopping first to get their beloved crumpets.

"Dolores…are you sure today is a good day? I've forgotten my…special potion." Albus stammered. She was so forceful that it often made him nervous.

"WHAT? How could you forget the potion? Nothing is fun without that.. Albus, you've ruined my evening. I'm going home." Dolores grumbled angrily.

Albus sighed with relief as he wasn't in the mood for her escapades tonight. He had business to attend to.


End file.
